Testing complete!

Today was the last test before chemotherapy begins.  The day went smoothly considering the lines bring ease for injections, blood draws, etc.  While we were waiting for the 3 hour GFR blood draw, Cameron went off with Ms. Ginny (our social worker) to paint and we sat down with the nurse practitioner to discuss the chemo orders.  I wanted to have the orders explained to me in great detail before the first cycle began so Ernest and I could triple check behind the nurses to ensure proper dosage and treatment for Cameron.  I have to be honest; it was a tough hour of discussion to sit through.  Even though we are four months into this now, it seemed so surreal sitting there discussing the coming four months.  After questions were settled, the “good” day turned bad quickly.  Cameron had to have his bandage on his lines changed and it was a bit horrific.  His skin is so sensitive to the Tegaderm dressing and therefore, changing it is enough to make your stomach turn.  I cannot stand to see him in pain yet I know this is necessary.  But how can a six year old comprehend such?  Needless to say, after it was complete, Ernest and I felt as if we had both just walked out of a fight.  Emotionally exhausted and trying to hold back the tears, we made the trip home from Duke, in silence.  When I walked into the office to check emails, my daily devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries was in my Inbox.  As has been the case many times since February, the words were from God; giving me encouragement in a dark day.  It said:

 

Have you ever broken down and cried until there were no more tears?  I have.  Have you ever wondered why this tragedy is happening to you?  I have.  Have you ever questioned if God really cares about your circumstances?  I have. In 2 Corinthians 11:26-28 Paul said, “I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.  Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.”  Now here was a guy who had every reason to throw his hands up and say, “I quit - If you loved me God you wouldn’t put me through this!” However, God revealed to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  The trial that you are facing today is not too big for God to handle.  As a matter of fact, being the loving parent that He is, He may be rescuing you from certain death.  Believe Him … Trust Him … Love Him despite your circumstances. Someday you will look back on this time and see His hand was there all along.

 

What more can I add?  Please continue to keep us in your prayers; another dressing change tomorrow.  Blessings to you all!