Thank goodness the holidays are over. Isn't that awful to say? But it was an awful few weeks for us. We miss Cameron so much. The entire Christmas season, I would set off for the mall only to return empty handed; nothing was the same without my shopping buddy. Wrapping gifts for one on Christmas Eve left tears streaming down my face and missing the one whose presence is huge but body is absent in our home. We went through the motions of celebrating Christmas with our family however, it is so hard to do when there is a HUGE hole in your life. I will admit, I frequently have to remind myself that this sadness is merely my earthly emotion, this side of heaven. Cameron...well, he IS home, he IS with Jesus, he IS having a blast. But my mommy heart, it just hurts.
It's a new year and I have to say, I don't think there is anyone any happier to see the calendar flip to 2012 than I am. I am excited to move forward, try to mend my broken heart, make new memories, travel, and spend some time with the other love of my life...Connor. All the while, living as Cam taught me...like every single day is a gift, by not sweating the small stuff, being courageous in all things, thankful of everything, not worrying, and by making every day "the best day ever."
3 comments:
leanne you are so strong! i have to share with you that a while ago we were on a bike ride and paige stopped right in the middle of the trail to say: mom, when we say prayers tonight, can we pray for cameron jackson? random, but i told her we would certainly pray for his family, who miss him so badly. we love you!
I absolutely love and am inspired by Cameron's saying "the best day ever". It has helped me through many tough days. I pray that your mommy heart does begin to mend, my friend. Love you.
Tina Bermudez
I am praying that 2012 will be a year of healing for your family and, also, joyful gratitude that your lives were blessed by Cameron's precious presence. I have to thank you for being willing to share your hardest moments with those of us who didn't know Cam that well personally. I am one (but I've heard so many others express these same thoughts) who now filters my "hard" times through the memory of Cam and the way he dealt with his cirsumstances. It's kind of amazing how one so young taught us so many life lessons! Love you.
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