It's been two months since Cameron left our home for his eternal home. People say it will get better with time but I'm beginning to wonder. I miss him terribly. The tears come on suddenly and without much warning these days. As long as I am busy, I'm functional. But when its quiet, it's sooo quiet.
Despite the fact it is the first of January, the weather here has been so nice. This past weekend, EJ and I did some planting in the backyard...cardinal flowers for our Cameron. Can't wait for them to bloom this spring. And we were finally able to get some pretty containers to repot the beautiful plants we received when Cam passed. I can't wait to put them around the house. Tonight I went with a friend to Bible Study Fellowship; something I've wanted to do for years but time just didn't allow for it. I find myself in crowds such as tonight looking around the room, wondering what crosses people are carrying. Surely, the lady sitting to my right, the ladies in front and behind me, had no clue that 2 months ago today, my husband and I held our son as he took his last breath; a fact that keeps me mindful of others I come in contact with these days. You just never know what others are enduring.
As hard as these days are, God continues providing something to keep my feet moving. This week, it came in the mail from someone who never met Cameron but followed his journey closely. Her words were so poetic and beautiful, I wanted to share a portion. "There is no answer - not human anyway - to the question 'why did Cameron die?' Someday we will have a divine understanding. What does make sense to me, is to ask why he lived and that answer is abundant and clear and inspiring. He was a teacher, a living example of all we should strive to be and his spirit lives in you all as he is now comforted in his heavenly home."
Many thanks for your love and continued prayers.
1 comment:
As I was cleaning paige up on the side of the road (she had gotten sick in the car) yesterday, she was crying and saying “this is the worst day ever!” over and over, and it made me laugh, and realize how remarkable it was for cam to always say just the opposite, when he was experiencing far worse than paige’s brief drama. Thanks to cam’s legacy, an un-fun situation was lightened up and did not indeed ruin my day!
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