I know I haven't updated the blog in a while and for those who faithfully follow my posts, I apologize. The truth is, I have been at a loss for words lately and for the many who know me, well, you know that is rare. We are moving into the third month without that little wonderful soul whose presence remains so very strong in our lives. I'm learning that grief is so strange. The waves come and go so quickly and for no apparent reason. There are things I cling to because they remind me of Cameron and then things I push far away because they rattle my heart. I cannot even entertain the thoughts of going to Chick-fil-A because it was Cam's favorite place. Ernest will probably never make his famous ginger molasses cookies again for they were Cam's request. And yet tonight, we found ourselves at Target, in the Hot Wheels section, looking for the treasures Cameron no longer can find. As it turns out, we walked out with a stack of new Hot Wheels...who knows why. And while I have named three examples, the list could continue on and on of the constant struggle we have remembering our precious child and guarding our hearts from the most extreme grief one can imagine.
Last night, I was reminded of the scripture in Romans that says "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Perseverance...character...hope...such great qualities to have in life. But not that first ugly word; who wants suffering. My son suffered, I'm suffering, my family is suffering and for as much as I love the Lord, I can't help but cry out "why our family" at times. Standing at a cross roads, choosing to be bitter and wither away or to persevere, is a daily task. Thank you to all who continue to lift us in your thoughts and prayers. Much love always...
5 comments:
Always in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend.
Tina B
continued thoughts and prayers headed your way.
Lynda B
By choosing to come to BSF, you are choosing to persevere and allow God to minister to you in His Word during this terrible suffering. You are an example to all of us! Continuing to pray for the three of you!
Debbie Whorley
The road you are on is, indeed, a twisted and difficult one. (I remember the moment I knew our Samuel was gone...in the Kroger next to the meat case. And I still don't like being in that spot!) But Praise God you have the Ultimate Guide to lead the way. Our God is big enough to handle all the emotions that come, no matter how strong or how long. And time does heal and dull the pain. And in eternity all the hurts will be mended. My prayers are with you and Ernest.
Hello, I am here because your mother sent this to me read. I was a friend of hers in Bermuda.
I have also lost a son. Not to cancer but because someone didn't have the time to wait a few seconds for my son to pass on the raod. This person made a U turn in front of him and his life was lost to us. Sean was 30 years old. It doesn't matter the age it matters to loss we feel. It is all the same for those who have lost a child. It isn't right because it is we who should go first. A friend who also lost her son told me when I called to let her know about Sean, "Do you feel the pain ?" Yes, I feel the pain. She said "Get used to it. It is for life" So true. Only those who have been through this can truly understand your pain. I pray you will grow strong and be able to handle all this. Only God can help you each day. Be strong, live your life as I am sure your son would want. One day you will be together again with him.
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