Sleepy little Cam...

Another week passes by...another weekend approaches. As I type, he is not yet awake; an anxious time for EJ and I because we never know what we are going to get when he does open those big blue eyes. Yes, that is our life...living moment by moment. He seems to be sleeping a lot these days. He usually wakes up between 11am and noon, many times with a headache, and then quickly retreats in the early afternoon. The good thing is that when he is up, we usually have some good moments...the bad thing is those moments seem to be getting less and less. But he still never complains. Just yesterday, he was laying back in the recliner with a headache and I asked him, "Cameron, are you sick of these terrible headaches". He cut his eyes at me as if I had asked the most stupid question ever and responded "no, they don't bother me too bad." What? I know sometimes he hurts so badly he can't even open his eyes...how can he respond in such a way? I thought of the following verse:

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

How can a little guy delivered such a blow in life remain so strong? How do EJ and I continue to put one foot in front of the other? HIS grace is sufficient.

Sadly I will say, verses like the above were lessons I learned in Sunday school as a child that just seemed like "good theology". And even as an adult, I would listen to a sermon and nod my head in agreement with everything the preacher was saying, subconsciously hoping to never put that theology to test. The God on the mountain was just fine for me; it was peaceful, comfortable, and easy. It's incredibly simple to believe God is a loving God when things are perfect in life...its quite the contrary when life as you know it is crumbling. I've struggled with trying to understand God's plan in this for years and have not heard or seen why and am beginning to accept that I may never get the answer I long for. After all, even if He revealed His plan to me, would that make this any easier? But what I do know is that the above is true. I am so weak, so incredibly weak and yet I'm the strongest I've ever been in my life!!!