Almost a year...

It's hard to believe that Friday will be one year since Cameron left this home for his eternal home.  It's even harder to believe that I have a whole lifetime ahead of me before I get to see him again.  The thought process should really be the reverse...he saying goodbye to me...but since it's not, I find myself in unchartered waters and wondering which way to go next.  This week, celebrating his life was no different.  How do you acknowledge the day your child died?  How do you ignore the day your child died?  What is right?  What is wrong?  And then came, what would Cameron want us to do?  So, we decided to do a little toy drive this week to collect items for the toy chest in the hematology/oncology clinic at Duke and try to bring a smile to other little boys and girls who are still in the battle for their life.  I believe that is what Cam would want us to do.  It's sad, but also joyful, that he spent almost half his life at Duke...sad that he did, joyful that he never complained about it.  He actually loved going to see his "Duke friends".  So, this is the plan.  And I am sure this will be the plan every year on the anniversary of his passing.  It's such a hard time for us right now; Friday will be even harder.  But one of my sweet co-workers sent me a podcast of a speaker from their church to listen to.  The speaker said, in reference to the hope in Jesus Christ,  "Remember...the devil, even on his best day, can't defeat you on your worst day"...I love that.