Thoughts...Nothing like a cancer diagnosis in the house to make one think. Perhaps I think too much. Since December, the faith I was raised to know has been tested tremendously. If God is good...why cancer? If God's will is perfect...why lose my son? If God allows the valleys to reach the mountain tops...does that include the pain of a child? I think about these things, and more, on a daily basis. It's also interesting to me how many times people so easily say things like "Praise God", "what an answer to prayer", "God smiled down on you", etc when news is good and yet when news isn't good, the words are never present. Aren't these the times we should minister the most...times when news isn't good for those in our lives? I can't tell you how many times we have walked into a room and the room goes silent because nobody knows what to say. Is God only worthy of praise in the good times? And sadly, how many times have I so easily acted the same in my walk with Christ to others suffering around me.
Today, pastor Beckett spoke on the transformation of Paul. Without a doubt, this is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. How God could take a man like Saul and transform him into the greatest missionary the world has ever seen is just fascinating and beyond words. I can't imagine what Paul must have thought during those days of darkness; waiting on God to strategically place him where he could be used to testify to Christ's love. While I am no Paul, my heart is so broken. I just don't understand and probably never will but I'm clinging to my faith that God too will one day remove the shingles from my eyes so that I can see His glory in a way never seen before and minister to those hurting around me as I never would have been able to do before this journey with Cameron.
Praise...It's almost June and little Cameron continues to feel great. We have enjoyed five months we didn't think we had. This past week, I even called and scheduled his birthday party because it appears my little guy will be turning 10 in July. His attitude remains something I have never seen before. This past Friday we went for a port flush at Duke and again, his port wouldn't cooperate so 20 minutes turned into 3 hours. Did he complain? Not once. What did he want to do...go see his "Duke friends". When we were finally able to leave, his nurse said "Cameron, you did great today." He responded, "thanks but I do great every day." Haha!!! What a kid!
Happiness...Ms. Germano brought over some fuzzy caterpillars a few weeks ago so that Cameron could watch them develop into butterflies. At first I wasn't quite sure about these little worms crawling around a container in my living room but his enthusiasm was hard to resist. So we watched them go from fuzzy little worms to hanging chrysalis' and then this past week, they became butterflies. We had seven total. His face when we let them go was priceless. Pictures to come!!!
Excitement...This weekend (May 21st), we are having a St. Baldrick's fundraiser here in Apex to raise money for childhood cancer. We are all so excited. 68 people have volunteered to shave their heads to honor those children battling cancer and so far, we have raised over $40,000 and I suspect there will be much more before the event is over. Cameron is thrilled and especially excited his favorite musician ("J" Money) has agreed to be a hero for kids with cancer. It's going to be a great day. Come join us if you live nearby. The event information can be found at www.stbaldricks.org/event/apex
Love to you all!!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Thoughts, praise, happiness, and excitement...
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"How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus
Cam's butterfly adventure reminds me of the children's novel by Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers.
There are two caterpillar heroes, Yellow and Stripe. They begin their search for meaning by attempting to climb to the top of a caterpillar pillar only to discover another destiny.
It all starts when Stripe hatches from an egg. He begins his life by eating the leaf he was born on. He realizes that there must be "more" to life than just eating leaves. He senses there must be a way to get up to the sky. He searches for a way and finds himself at the base of a pillar made up of caterpillars. They are all struggling to get up into the sky as well.
On the pillar he meets Yellow who also wants to get into the sky by climbing to the top of the pillar. But she feels bad about what must be done to achieve this goal. You have to literally step on and climb over all the other caterpillars who are also trying to reach the top of the pillar.
The two of them eventually decide to stop climbing and go back down the pillar. But Stripe's curiosity and unrest overcome him and he decides that he must get to the top of the pillar. Stripe says good-bye to Yellow. He focuses, adapts, and drives to reach the top, and eventually succeeds at being on the top of the caterpillar pillar.
He realizes has not really gotten in to the sky. He just has a view of other caterpillars struggling to reach the top of their respective caterpillar pillars.
Yellow, however, has followed her instincts, continues to eat and then spins a cocoon and eventually emerges from the cocoon transformed into a butterfly and flys into the sky effortlessly.
She has found the real answer to there must be "more" to life than eating leaves, and who caterpillars really are.
She waits for Stripe as he descends the pillar and eventually reaches the ground again. She shows Stripe her empty cocoon, and he eventually realizes what he needs to do. Stripe makes a cocoon of his own.
Yellow waits for him. Stripe emerges transformed into a butterfly, and they fly off together.
Lynda
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