Inconceivable Emotion

Today I took Cameron for his last pre-chemotherapy physical and he was so full of himself. I think he was in the best mood I have seen since this all began. Several times today he “ran” down the hall to his much loved Dr. G. It’s amazing to see how far their relationship has come; back when this began, Cameron was so “hands off” to the whole Neuro-oncology group. Now, he adores each of them. He was also able to participate in something fun which was going on at the children’s hospital. The Hyundai car company was donating $50,000 to Duke Children’s today and they had a car in front of the hospital which they were allowing the children who were battling cancer to put their handprints on. Cameron, of course, thought this was the coolest thing! After bouncing off the walls at Duke, I was certain he would come home and take a nap. But Mr. Action proved me wrong and asked to go on a ride around the block on his big wheel. To top everything off, Mrs. Germano came over and did an hour of school with him and he did great. He amazes me daily!

I cannot believe in one week’s time, his chemotherapy will be complete. It has been a ride like no other. Back in February when Ernest and I first met with Cameron’s neurosurgeon Dr. Grant, my only question was “is the surgery survivable?” Weeks later I wondered if he would ever walk again. In March, I wondered how Cameron would ever adjust to his radiation mask and be able to endure the treatment; and I wondered how I would adjust looking at my child who was suddenly bald. In June, I couldn’t imagine how Cameron’s little body could handle the high doses of chemotherapy which were vital to his survival. Now today, a mere seven months later and days away from his last treatment, the nurse practitioner and I were discussing how best to ease Cameron back into school next month. It is truly inconceivable emotion. We, of course, are elated about the end of his treatment. But after running on adrenaline for so many months, walking by energy the Lord could only provide, it is going to be such an adjustment to leave Duke hospital and the family there which we have come to love. I’ve really been struggling over the last few weeks wondering how to jump back into “life” when our life, as we knew it prior to February 8^th, is so drastically different. As I was in the kitchen tonight, I saw a devotion I had taped to the refrigerator that one of my sweet friends sent me months ago. It simply read from Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God”. For those of you who know me best, you know that “being still” isn’t one of my virtues. So as we walk into next week, I ask for you all to pray for three things:

1) The chemotherapy will attack the bad cells (if any) and that the rest of Cameron’s body will be protected from harm

2) Cameron will continue to handle this regimen with Godly strength

3) Our entire family will have peace as we exit; turning Cameron over to the One who made him and that our hearts will be at ease and protected from worry about the future

As always, we will update the blog daily as he finishes each dose of chemotherapy. I’m attaching some pictures from today of him painting the car and of Cameron with Dr. G. Much love to you all and please continue to lift him up in your prayers.

LeAnn